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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lindy_loo_17's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
5:28 pm
update fuck this
So it seams a lot of things have changed since my last entry. It's been almost a year since I last wrote. Looking back now everything a year ago seamed so much easier. Last year around this time Ken and I broke up. That seams like so long ago now. Right now Cashmere is sick. It breaks my heart to see her like this because she isn't herself at all. I have to go outside to give her water or else she won't drink. We had to get her other dog food so she will actually eat it. She has to take these pills twice a day and the pills were over $115. My dad has to carry her up the stairs in the morning to bring her outside where she stays all day then at night she comes inside where my dad has to carry her down the stairs again. This ontop of everything else in my life is a lot to handle. I've been trying to get to ALC for the last few weeks so I can start working on come classes since I have to do all of grade 11 over due to me being sick. Andrew and I broke up a while ago and I'm trying to deal with that aswell. Breanne is mad at me and I don't know why. Alyssa and Lisa barely talk to me. Feels like I've lost everything. My sister is moving out and everything is changing. I'm really not sure how much more I can handle. Wish someone cared.

Current Mood: fuck this
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
8:43 pm
Im finally updating haha
Haha well I havent wrote in here since March lol. Haha lots of shit has happened since then but I got a new computer:) yay! haha umm I got and mp3 player... I got a mouse his anme is Pickles and I got my hair cut. But blah who cares about the past hah Ill talk about my recent things. Umm so the other day on myspace I messaged this guy and we've been talking for like 3 or 4 day or something and he's such a cool guy I really like him. His names Matt and he's just awesome. We were up last ngiht till 6 am chatting :) He's my lil punk rocker hehe:) Ahh jeez this is the most boringest entry even lol. I dont have much more to say to i guess thats it lol. im gonna trya nd update more often tho haha. maybe ahah well see how that works out haha

Current Mood: Hot outside
Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
10:21 pm
I just hate the way I feel. I know I'm about to break and I know it's gonna come and the anticipation is killing me slowly. I know I should probabaly say something well more that just something but I can't. I bite my lip, and tongue to try and feel another kind of pain but it's unreal to me. I'm sitting here feeling helpless, alone, numb and the feeling of tears are about to show. I don't know how long I can stick around, feels like I'm bleeding. Maybe things could have been better if only for one even changed. But who can live like that? Living in the past is no way to live but is living like this any better? It's funny how come things seam to take forver and the good things are short and don't come very often. Uhh yeah... that's my update cuz' I haven't done it in almost 2 months.

Current Mood: bored
Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
9:46 pm
Well I don't know if I can top the previous entry. Haha Bill seamed pleased with it lol. (He's a cocky bastard). But anyways today at school guess what I did? Well going up the stairs I fell. :( Haha it was funny but yeah... only Josh saw me so that was good but he laughed at me... ( it hurt my feelings). Lol oh well it's only Josh anyways but yeah. Our school is retarted and gave all the guys Old Spice so the school smelt like crap all day. Umm... my head phones for my cd player died today so I took Brea's in science haha. Umm I've been working on my civics project and im sorta almost there haha. Well it's due in like 2 days so yeah haha I'll be doing the rest of it tomorrow night lol. Well that's all for now.

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
9:45 pm

I am saying something about BILL.



Current Mood: Blah
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
3:13 pm
Hey, hey hey

It's 2005, whoa that's kinda weird to say but I'm gonna try and update this everyday or at least every week haha. Well right now I'm at Brea's. I slept over for NEW YEAR's EVE. Haha, umm I'm going home soon so yeah haha. ( This is an amazing update eh?)

Current Mood: blank
Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
10:58 pm
Haha, I fucked up again, and it's just now I'm realizing it haha. I wrote the the right entry in the wrong jounral site haha. I ahve 2 so it gets confusing but anyways back to what I was saying .... back on December 23rd. I saw Bill at the mall haha. Wes is also bugging me... urg.... i read e mails tonight from people, and they are fucking funny thats all now

Current Mood: yeah
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
9:13 pm
Yo,Yo, Yo.... ( I'm not sure) I am extremely bored, and thought I'd update. I'll see if I can get better at this haha oh well anyways the other day me ana Manda went to the mall for like 5 frickin' hours. Haha that was boring haha well just being at the mall for so long isn't fun. We walked aorund for like 3 hours probabaly haha. And then last night she came over and we wanted Elf cuz I'd never seen it before. When the movie was does, we went outside and had a snowball fight except they wernt really snowballs haha. LAst night it snowed a tona nd we like like a foot and a half of snow. It looks so pretty outside hehe ( no matter what Wes thinks) I'm listening to Brand New and that's it.

Current Mood: muahaha
Monday, December 20th, 2004
9:11 pm
Yeah, So I ahven't updated in quite a while, I just kinda gave up cuz i didnt give a fuck but i decided id update now. Umm my birthday passed and it was alright, me and amanda went to a show at the eagles club, it was alright except for this one band urg they were friggin annoying but yeah otherwise goodness all around. umm what else umm yeah i got more cds... blah blah... umm yeah just realized how boring my life is..... screw this shit im done. THERE HAPPY I UPDATED!

Current Mood: Screw The World
Thursday, November 11th, 2004
8:41 pm

Current Mood: blah>>
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
9:13 pm
Muahaha I haven't written in here in 2 weeks, hella im awesome. Anyways I got a new cd since last time Rise Against- Siren Song Of the counter Culture, it's pretty grand. Umm yeah chatting with Wes, well now he ditched me but oh well. Umm yeah. I feel so grubby haha im wearing pj pants my army girl sweater and a Crowned King red t-shirt ( wooT)... whoa I haven't listened to them in a long time and I found my hsirt in ym closet this morning so I was like hell I'll wear that today. Muahaha I got two of their shirts... anyways that's my update, yes its pathetic but what else would you expect from me? People are wusses and it's bugging me so they better get over it soon cuz I'm impatient muahahah, that's all folks toodlo-e.

Current Mood: >>blah <<
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
5:15 pm
Alrighty, well I haven’t written in here in a while, few days something like that. Well it’s Tuesday, in one week my careers project is due, blah! Oh well anyways im listening to Warped Tour 2004, stage 1. Thursday- Tomorrow I’ll Be You. I’m bored, I’m working on my project and wow it’s boring. Anyways tomorrow is the literacy test, yay! I’m so excited, not. Oh well, I don’t think it will be too hard, I’m pretty confident that I’ll at least pass, even though I was told last year I was “too stupid” to pass but whatever. He’s a fucking idiot anyways. Wow lunch today was damn fun! I walked around all by myself, then I went to the library to work on my project cuz’ there was nothing else to do. I felt sad. Well last night I watched Summerland haha I know, but I like that show. I missed it last week cuz’ I was playing Super Nintendo and I was sad. But Super Nintendo is hella rad wow I haven’t played Nintendo in so long. Maybe I’ll play a bit tonight or something. Last night when I was talking to Bill he said, “ haha” a recorded 26 times, this was all within like an hour and 15 mins or so. Like wow! That’s something like once every 2 mins… haha. My birthday is in 1 month and 1 day! Wow, I can’t wait! It’s gonna be buckets of fun… just like Bill. Well yeah guess that’s all for now folks.

Current Mood: >Blah
Monday, October 18th, 2004
3:06 pm
Alrighty, well I ahven't done this in a few days so yeah. Well right now I'm at school, working on a project lol. Anyways yeah. I'm pretty bored and thought I'd update this thing. Right now I'm listening to The Used- Lunacy Fringe, it's from In Love and Deatha nd one of my fave songs on the cd. Well that's all folks

Current Mood: >Blah
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
9:08 pm
Alrighty, haven’t written in here in I’m not even sure how many days so here I go. Listening to AFI- The Days Of The Phoenix, off of this compilation CD I got on my trip during the summer. School it alrighty I guess, its all a bore, art is awesome tho, we will be finishing calligraphy tomorrow and yeah it’s cool. Umm… people are okay I guess at school. Some of which are wusses haha. But oh well, eventually I’ll talk to people I guess, maybe haha. It feels anymore that once I get over one thing another seams to come up. And nothing came up today. Left me sitting here with a pain in my stomach, I’m not sure if it was fear, pain, or what but there it was. I’ve given up on a lot of things lately cuz’ hell what’s the point anymore. It feels like every time I go to say something to someone there they are leaving. Umm yeah…. That’s it I guess.

Current Mood: >BLAH
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
3:37 pm
Okay so this is Wednesday. I only went to school for one class, English wooT. And I was even late haha. That was my fault but that’s okay. Umm after school my mom picked me up and I went to therapy. After that we went to the store so I could get a drink and my mom got something. Then we went to Home Depot and then Degroots. Yeah that’s the amazing ness otherwise known as my life. Well yeah I slept in today till 11:30 lol sucks haha, I had such a head ache when I woke up this morning so my mom told me to go back to sleep, so I did and then got up later on. Umm well yesterday I got The Chronicles Of Life And death by Good Charlotte. And I listen to it once, and am listening to it now and I don’t know about it. Haha, well I’m listening to it now. And I really like this song, it’s called Falling Away. Here it is…

Lost and broken, hopeless and lonely
smiling on the outside, hurt beneath my skin
my eyes are fading, my soul is bleeding
I’ll try to make it seem ok but my faith is wearing thin
so help me heal these wounds they've been open for way too long
help me fill this soul even though this is not your fault
but I’m open and I’m bleeding all over your brand new rug
and i need someone to help me sow them up
i only wanted a magazine, i only wanted a movie screen
i only wanted the life I’d read and dreamed
and now my mind is an open book and my heart is an open wound
and now my life is open, it's open for all to see
but help me heal these wounds, they've been open for way too long
help me fill this soul even though this is not your fault
that I’m open and I’m bleeding all over your brand new rug
and i need someone to help me
so you come along, i push you away then kick and scream for you to stay
cos i need someone to help me oh i need someone to help me
to help me heal these wounds they've been open for way too long
help me fill this soul even though this is not your fault
that I’m open and I’m bleeding all over your brand new rug
and i need someone to help me sow them,
i need someone to help me fill them,
i need someone to help me close them up

Oh well anyways. The last oh three days I guess have been hard. I’ve talked to only Adam and Brandyn about it because either people haven’t been on or there not on long enough to talk to them about it. Anyways I don’t wanna bored them with my problems. I kind of wish that I had never told Brandyn but in some ways I guess it’s better. Oh well. Also last night I got Closet Monster- We Re-Built The City. I listened to it for like 2 hours last night. It’s only like 18 mins long so yeah. It’s pretty good. I really like Mamma Anti- Fascisto (Never Surrender) I’ve seen the video a bunch of times and I saw it last night and I was like hell it’s 8 bucks I’ll get it, so I did haha. Well tomorrow I gotta do my quiz/test in careers, from like 3 weeks ago now. Haha so I need to study lol I don’t even know what it’s on now. But oh well. I also have to do this sheet for careers too. And apparently we did like part of an in class assignment in class today which I missed so yay! I get to catch up on shit again! This is fun. Tuesday was a hard, just comments from people, I know it was just joking around and shit but, doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Makes me think a lot. Would anyone really miss me if I were to leave? I wanna go to another school, but the reality of that sucks. I could go to Big Al’s but no thanks haha. I wish I could move to another city. I think that would do me a lot of good. But hell that’s not gonna happen. And I know that and I’m fine I guess with that but I still can dream. Well It’s been one week now that my mom’s car was stolen. It’s weird seeing that kind of car on the road or in a parking lot and stuff thinking to myself hell that cars gone now. Maybe in some weird was it way for the best but oh well. I wanna make another journal, actually rather get someone else to make me one haha but anyways this one is fine for some things but I want another one for more personal things that I only want some people to know. I wanna tell some people things but I’m scared, either if it’s from their reaction or that they may tell someone else. Well blah blah blah here I go again. Writing my life story haha. Umm-well Bill’s birthday is in a month haha, I don’t know lol that just popped into my head haha. I bet he feels special now well he probably doesn’t even read this but oh well haha. He can feel special without even knowing he feels special haha. Yeah lol. I know, I know, my minds warped haha. Man last night was so cold, I slept in 3 sweaters and 3 pairs of pj pants. Haha, I was so cold. And man I set my vcr so that I wouldn’t have to wait up till 130 in the morning to see my show and of course I fucked that up. And hell Breanne says I say Fuck too much well I don’t care so there haha (sticks out tongue) lol. Well I have to do these exercises for my arm. I gotta do that 2 times a day, 5 sets of them haha. Haha reminds me of my eyes haha. I have to do exercises for my eyes cuz I apparently cannot cross them haha but yeah. Anyways yeah lol thinking about eyes I should look for my glasses haha, there somewhere in my locker I think haha. I like only use them in science and I haven’t used them in a while cuz’ she has been handing out sheets to copy instead of copying from the board thingy. I want to truth from you, even if it hurts me. The Truth, that’s the song I’m listening to. Well I should go and do that dishes but I’m gonna update my journal now and then yeah. Guess that’s all folks.

Current Mood: BLah
Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
1:11 pm
What’s up all? Well today is Sunday, blah school tomorrow but yeah that’s life I guess, right now I’m listening to The Used- Let It Bled. It’s a great song I really like it one of my faves on the CD.Well it’s almost 1. And I’ve been up for like an hour and a half or something. I folded some laundry this morning and watched TV. Umm yeah that’s about it. Now I’m down here cuz’ I was bored and yeah. I’m actually trying to find some lyrics for my art projects. It’s so hard haha, so many good lyrics I have no clue how I’ll ever decide but oh well. I’m sure I decide eventually. Well last night I played Tic- Tac- Toe again Josh and Brandyn, I lost both times. But yeah Brandyn totally whooped my ass haha, He won 15- 2 haha. Oh well at least when I played Josh it was 8-7. But oh well haha, I was gonna play against Adam but his computer was being really slow so yeah haha. I have gave up lol. Well yesterday was Saturday so yay! The Punk Show was on! Man I love that show hehe. Anyways, they played A.F.I.’s – The Days Of The Phoenix, I had never heard the song or seen the video and it was pretty good. Hunter looks really good in it, and Davey’s hair is pretty interesting haha. Jade looks awesome too and the effects on the video were pretty cool. They also played Blink 182 haha bringing it back to 95 with M&M’s haha. It’s crazy to think man Blink has been around for like 10 years, that video’s 9 years old and it’s crazy. The funniest video on the Punk Show last night would have to be The Exploited- New Sell Out. Haha, the singer in the band is wearing his own bands shirt. Who does that? Haha I thought it was pretty odd but then again I don’t like then but oh well. Probably my fave video of the show was Bouncing Souls- Anchors Aweigh. The video’s not all that old and it’s a not bad one, a little boring for me but meh and it’s a good song. Well today when I was watching TV. I saw the video by Hawk Nelson- California. I had heard of the band before but never heard anything by them. They’re not too bad either, and damn the band is hot. Always a nice plus in a band haha. Well I think that’s about it. Haha. Umm well I’ve been told my journal entries are like “stories” so that’s all folks.

Current Mood: BLAH
Thursday, September 30th, 2004
7:57 pm
Well I haven’t done this thing for a while now. Haha oh well. Today is the 30th, last day of September, how crazy is that it’s October tomorrow. Well it’s Brandyn’s birthday. Happy Birthday Brandyn! Well what happened this week, on Tuesday I went to therapy and then went to the mall to get the new Used CD.Yay! It’s great. It’s so different tho. It look a few listens to like it but its rad. Umm well also on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, our car got stolen from my dad’s work. Whom ever did it totalled the car, smashed the windows, ripped the interior, and then drove it into a pond or ditch or something. Needless to say that’s the end of the silver car. The really crappy thing about it all is that my dad just put a new battery in it last week. If he hadn’t of done that then they wouldn’t have been able to steal it in the first place. But yeah anyways, the car got towed to my dad’s shop and yeah then he got to pay for that. All that’s left of that car that is salvageable is the tires and the battery. So yup, my dad took em. Well I’m not sure when the car was gonna be crushed but, yeah that’s its destiny if it already hasn’t been done. Well Wednesday I babysat, same with tonight and I will be tomorrow too. Today Breanne gave me a mix CD:D yay! It’s got Scotty Doesn’t Know on it. Which is hella rad. It’s got some other good songs on it too but haha that’s the best one lol. Well right now I’m listening to The Used. Well what else is there to say, hmm well Adam is good, man I love talking to him, and he’s awesome. Umm… Mike well that’s another story. He is driving me insane. Haha I’m gonna tell him I am moving or something and then say there is no computer there haha. I can’t stand him anymore. Umm who else do I chat with, hmm oh yeah Bill, haha he’s quite the person to chat to haha. He always seams to make me smile so I guess that’s good. I wrote him a story lol. I haven’t sent it to him yet lol, it even has pictures lol. I probably won’t send it to him but oh well haha. I was really bored. Well in English class we started Romeo and Juliet today. Umm in Careers were watching Remember The Titans, in art were doing Calligraphy, and in science umm were finishing our projects tomorrow I believe haha. Breanne and I are working together, and we have like not much done lol. Oh well. I have a 75% in that class right now which I think is pretty good considering I haven’t handed a few things in yet and I was always for 6 days. Today I was a video on Much Music… My Chemical Romance- Im Not Okay (I Promise) it’s a pretty good video and song. The guitarist and the bassist I believe it is haha I’m not totally sure but there hot haha. Well that is about it. Oh yeah haha I was cleaning my locker today haha 16 batteries in there lol. All used up too haha. School is so blah, the morning is great, it’s so easy and then the afternoon is like blah. Science is easy but hell it’s a lot of writing. Our teacher is messed. And then English is like blah haha I should probably change to applied like I wanted but being sick and all fucked things up. So yeah, well now I’m bitching about school, whoa. That’s it then.

Current Mood: Blah
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
4:37 pm
Don’t give up just hold on. Is the pain just to strong to hold on? I’m sitting here crying here, you’ll alone and dying here your waiting for bad news. Cuz you know that I’d live my life you, time can be only but our enemy. Looking for answers to all the questions that no one knows. Promises, shattered pierces memories of nothing, cowardly you’ll face this all alone. Finding the truth. Nothing to kept them for emptiness now. Cuz' I lost today, im not ok, heart break a fake smile, 2000 miles. I’ve been falling apart. If I told you that I love you would it matter at all? If i told you I need to would you catch be if I fall? This nightmare has no end. Did you give up? There’s nothing without you. Im lost broken confused. But I won't give up on you, tonight. If my life were to fall apart, would you still care? I can't remember what it was that I wanted. Left my paradise for good. This is my story and here's how it goes.25, 25 to life. There’s a time and place for everything. There’s a reason why certain people meet. There’s a destination for everyone.
So many questions asked but no ones answering. I’ll never regret these years. At times like these, I miss you the most. Please let me breathe, your choking me. This is my fault, downward I fall. So tell me is this world all right? What does every conversation end in a fight? I’ve been burning bridges always burning bridges. Broken hearts and hard times. This nightmare has no end. This figures haunting me. These fears consuming me. I cannot hold back these feelings of fear within me. Lately I’ve been a shell of myself can’t you see? Did you give up when I was nowhere to be found? Do you feel better now that you are on your own? There’s nothing without you. I’m lost, broken, confused, but I won’t give up on you, tonight. Now I know how sacred you were all by yourself. Do you ever dream of a day when we will still me? Tonight I’ll lye here all alone wondering what our future holds. Will you still care? The end of the world in front of me, I do believe all that I see, it comes so close but pulls away to let me say another day. It’s one chance in your lifetime, but it won’t be the last time, it seams there always the nest hill to climb and you know there’s a lifetime. The things I see never end, trick in my mind to just pretend. I understand what’s happening, when others doubt I still believe. Changing what I once thought. Letting go of what I once fought. Sick of the way I am feeling. Waking up, watching myself slipping. Should I just take out my eyes? No logger want them for this life. Sleepless nights stared at the ceiling, sanity running on empty. I’ve tried to black my mind of this and pretend it doesn’t exist. Shot memory and a fuct up mind. Can’t remember what I left behind. A dead end street, nights with no sleep. Have I left my paradise for good 122 and Highland Street- this is where we used to meet? I knew we’d move on one day but I didn’t think it would be this way. I can’t remember what it was I wanted. But maybe if I loose it then I font forget. Im feeling sorry getting older. Nights we spent there are now over. What’s the purpose if I move on all I had is now all gone. There’s a time and place for everything. There’s a reason why certain people meet there’s a destination for everyone. What’s the explanation when were done? All the summer nights spent wondering, so many questions asked but no ones answering. Would it be okay if I left today? No sorry and I’ll never forget these years.

Current Mood: Blah
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
9:06 pm
Wow, that was weird lol I just ate a Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Cup and there were 3 of the little tray things on it. I don’t know lol I found it interesting lol. Well I’ve gotten pretty bad at updating this thing. Oopsie oh well, I don’t think too many people read it anyways. But for those who might haha the best episode of Undergrads was on last night, on teletoon at 10:30pm. It was the “risk” episode. It had a cameo form Good Charlotte in it. They did the theme songs for it by the way haha. I’ve seen that episode so many times and it’s awesome hehe. Well I went to school today and part of yesterday. I babysat after school and did homework when I got home, watched some T.V. did the dishes and then came down here to the computer room to finish my other homework. I finished most of it right now and still need to do a summary. But I’ll do that when I go up at 10. Well tomorrow is picture day. Great, super, wow, how I am so not caring lol, I hated my picture from last year L so maybe I’ll have a better one this year. But oh well. I burnt my tongue yesterday on soup and it’s messed right now haha. I’m so the brightest crayon. Lol, but oh well. I guess I should take my pills now so that’s what me gonna go do. Well right now I’m listening to The Used- their self-titled album. Their new album comes out in T minus 6 days: D:D:D:D:D:D

Current Mood: Blah
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
9:06 pm
Well haven’t updated in a few days so I thought I would. Been home now for a week. L Never thought I’d say it but I do miss school. Like it’s been weird tho, had summer vacation, went to school for 4 days and then now I’m here stuck at home. It’s Sunday night and I doubt I will be going to school tomorrow. Tomorrow I also have therapy and I don’t know if I’ll be going to that either. I really want to go to therapy too, my arm hurts so much now that I’m not taken my medication for it and I haven’t been to therapy in like a week. Well more then a week now but oh well. Well haha my sister is leaving in like a week and a half or something to go visit her best friend in Welland. And she just told me how she’s going to be in a commercial and she gets to stand beside a port-a-potty. So that’s exciting haha I think lol and it made me think about Bayfest haha. That was quite the day. I don’t remember most of it but that’s okay haha I will always remember that one day haha parts of it anyways lol. Haha, good old Saturday seeing Finger Eleven. Actually the day after that I left. And by that night I was in Iowa City, Iowa. It’s actually 2 months yesterday that we left. Crazy trip, had lots of fun and yeah just a good time. Funny thing about that trip well not about the trip when I came back. Everything felt different. Why? Cuz’ it was. Weirdest thing that just struck me. I never did tell Brandyn about my trip.
* Thinking smiley* Right now I don’t think I ever will. Haha, my dad hooked up the DVD and VCR player on Thursday night and right now there watching one of my sisters DVD’s. Jackass. It’s a funny movie but not the kind I’d want my parents to see haha. But oh well. Well right now I’m listening to Donots- Time’s Up and The Unseen- Scream Out. Haha, I only listen to 2 songs off the CD. Oh well tho. Well yeah…. Still sick. Still feel like crap. The usual. Just too me pills and yeah fun-ness. Well that’s about it.

Current Mood: Blah
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